


Skirting Certain Information

by Diary



Category: X-Men Evolution
Genre: Catholic Kurt Wagner, Conversations, Gay Kurt Wagner, Gen, Male Friendship, Moral Dilemmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 04:04:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21068540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: Kurt is considering getting back together with Amanda, and Toad really isn't up for this conversation. Complete.





	Skirting Certain Information

Arriving at their usual bench at the park, Kurt takes a deep breath before sitting down. “Amanda and I are getting back together.”

Toad glances over. “Huh. This mean you and Shadowcat are gonna be doing double-dates with Lance?”

“What? No! Absolutely not.”

“Good. ‘Cause, dawg, that would just be a nightmare waiting ta happen. So, what brought this on?”

“How- how- Why are you so apathetic,” Kurt demands.

Toad gives him an incredulous look. “Uh, what, yo? I don’t have a definition of apathy in fronta me, but I’m pretty sure me asking you questions is opposite of that.”

“You know what I am,” Kurt hisses. “Unless you have some plan to sabotage this, I don’t understand how you can just not react to what I’m doing.”

“I swear, I ain’t gonna do any sabotaging, yo. Yeah, I know what ya are. A gay mutant. I know she’s human and knows about the mutant part. How exactly could I know, fuzzy, if you told her about the other or not? If she knows and still wants to do this, I ain’t her brother or friend. And if she doesn’t, then, guess what? It’s still not my place. I don’t know her, and unlike you, I don’t go ‘round stepping in every time someone’s being done wrong.”

Sighing, Kurt slumps down. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“Are you going to ask? If she knows?”

Toad shakes his head.

“Why not?”

“Better question might be, why are ya so desperate for me to ask.”

Kurt doesn’t respond.

“I’m guessing, either, she knows, but ya still don’t feel right about it, or she don’t, and her not knowing, that goes against everything you believe in, yo. Either way, it’s your life, dawg. If ya really care about her, good for you, but I don’t. Ain’t gonna go after her, but expecting me to care about some human girl- you know me better, Nightcrawler.”

Leaning back, Kurt rubs his head. “Do you only like mutant girls?”

“No.”

“But- what, you wouldn’t date or marry one?”

“This ain’t about me, fuzzball.”

“She loves me.”

“’kay.”

“And she doesn’t know,” Kurt miserably adds.

“Look, dawg, this is getting boring. Do whatever you want, but change the subject.”

“If you were going through a crisis, I’d listen to you!”

Toad rolls his eyes. “I’ve listened to your crisis, blue. This ain’t one of them. You know what you are. You know what’s right an’ what’s wrong. You do this, it won’t be the first or last time an X-Man does something they shouldn’t. You don’t do this, you’re still gonna be hurt and regret not doing it, wondering if ya should have taken the chance. ‘Cause, you being gay doesn’t stop ya from being a Catholic boy with all-German dreams.”

“You acknowledge I’m between a rock and a hard place. You think me getting back with her would be wrong. But you refuse to help try to find a good solution.”

“’Cause there isn’t one. Sorry, dawg, and I mean that sincerely, yo. But there ain’t a way you come out of this not hurt. My advice? Decide which you think’ll hurt less in the long run. And also, no, I don’t think you getting wit’ her would be wrong. What I meant was, you obviously think it’s wrong, and if you do it anyway, you’ll be doing something ya think you shouldn’t. Which, you ain’t the first or last X-Geek who doesn’t live up to your own standards of morality, yo.”

“How- how can you not think it’s wrong?”

Toad shrugs.

“No, really. If you were gay, would you try to hide it? If so, would you think dating a girl who didn’t know was right?”

“Let’s face it, fuzzy, if I were gay, I’d still have jest as much chance getting a date as I do now. Unless I was dead. I figger I’d try ta hide it as long as I could. Whether that’d be longer or shorter than the mutant thing, who knows? Anyway, I really don’t think you wanna hear why I don’t find this wrong.”

“Maybe I don’t. But please, tell me anyways.”

“Jest remember, you asked for it, yo. She ain’t mutant, dawg. You try to do this to a mutant girl, and I might be a little more- I wouldn’t try ta stop ya, but I might care a little more.”

There’s a stretch of silence.

“Your mother, she was human, wasn’t she, not a mutant?”

“Yeah. I imagine, if there’s a recessive mutant gene or whatever, yo, it’s in the man she was with, not her. He has fingers and feet like mine, good swimmer, too, but no powers.”

“But you love her. I know you do. Did- was she aware of what you are? Were you, back then?”

“She knew I was allergic to e’ry soap she tried, that I ate bugs different than the way most normal little kids might, and that I was really good at hopping, yo. I’m not sure what she mighta thought, to be honest, dawg. I jus’ knew I was different. It weren’t until I met Mystique and Magneto that I learned about mutants, yo.”

“If she were still around- you’d view her differently than you do other humans, wouldn’t you?”

“Pro’lly not. I’d still love her, still try to look out for her, but like it or not, Nightcrawler, this is an us vs them world. I don’t think all humans are bad, an’ I don’t want them wiped out or all enslaved or whatever exactly it is that Magneto wants. But she was the only human I’d’ve ever put before a mutant, yo.”

“I wish Rogue wasn’t a mutant,” Kurt quietly says. “She does, too.”

“Not sayin’ you’re wrong, but if she were my sis, I’d hope, one day, she could control her powers, yo. That she could touch people and only make ‘em sick, get their memories and abilities, and all that if she wanted to.”

“I- talking to you is sometimes-” Kurt makes a gesture with his hands.

Toad raises an eyebrow. “It take this long to figure that out, blue?”

Kurt huffs. Then, after taking a deep breath, he asks, “Okay, what if you have children someday and they’re human?”

“Doubt that’ll ever happen. One, I don’t want kids, yo. Two, it seems like two mutants are more likely to have mutant kids than human, and seein’ as how I’m not likely ever gonna be with a human woman-” He shrugs.

“Fine. I’m going to figure this out myself. Just tell me, have you ever loved anyone but your mother? Not lust, not simply cared for them, but loved them?”

“What’s that gotta do wit’ anything?”

“Because- I do love Amanda. I’m gay, and I’m don’t want to be with her in such a way, I’m not sure I ever really did, but I love her. I didn’t lie to her about anything- well, I tried to lie about being human, ja, but she already knew. What I mean is, I was so excited when we went to a dance together. I was happy when we had our first kiss. It hurt when broke up.”

“And as I got to know her and it started to get to the point I couldn’t ignore the fact I was gay, I realised that I do love her. She’s a wonderful person, and I want so badly for her to always be happy and safe. Just- have you ever truly loved someone?”

After a long moment, Toad answers, “Maybe.” He sighs. “I know I don’t ever have a chance with Wanda. It ain’t about that anymore. I legit love her. I’d always take her side over her dad’s. I’d do more for her than I would almost anyone else. ‘side from her, yeah, there was this person. Not my momma, not a mutant girl.”

“I’m not gonna go into any detail. Except: It hurts. I’m not sure it’ll ever really stop. So, uh, I’m really sorry, yo, but you cain’t get out of this without hurt, and neither can Amanda. Whatever you choose, she’s going to be hurt, and so are you. I guess, maybe, if you really love her, instead of trying to figure out which will hurt you less, you try ta figure out which’ll hurt her less, fuzzy.”

“That’s very good advice,” Kurt quietly says. “Thank you.”

“Don’t bring it up again.”

“Okay. First, though, I want to say, I’m sorry. And if you ever want to talk, I’m here, willing to listen.”

“Yeah. Whatever you do, good luck, yo. I need to go, but I'll see ya later."

Kurt nods. "Bye."


End file.
